second last london escape

first thing first

running log : 85 glorious minutes on threadmill

was so so sore! but it's a PB! so worth it :)
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second thing more important

i just planned my next london trip!

down to the nittygritty details

i think it's fab. super fab ------

reach Luton,
grab a mocha and brownie from coca
read life of Pi in the bus to central london victoria,
take the subway
reach picadilly, hope to make it to complementary dinner before theater
if not buy 3 box of blueberries frozen or fresh from tesco and a starbucks
cry with all my heart in les miserables
check in hotel in victoria, read Life of pi some more then sleep

second morning complementary buffet breakfast
portobello market- buy antique world map/trinket with the queen face/ a secondhand book
10 30 am go to the new Darwin centre cocoon to see real dna analysis!
lunch in a tavern-fisherman pie/seafood chowder/cottage pie/cornwall pastries + ginger ale
go sports direct buy as many pairs of on sale Asics as i can afford

tea time! have scones with clotted cream in coffeehouse
back to victoria, go to Pretz, buy avocado chicken sandwich/triple chocolate muffin and a christmas coffee
board the bus in vic, read life of pi/ choke by chuck palahniuk/catcher in the rye. reach luton
come back to dublin, get anxious again but sure sleep 12 hours
then attend as many tropical med HIV lectures as i am willing to, if too anxious, skip and study lymphoma

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this is my planning skills at its peak :D

and now im excited. uhh

back to microbiology podcasts ( school is blatantly abusing technology dont u think so)


PS///you must have heard of the new Darwin Centre in Natural History Museum right? remember to book your free tickets online to visit :)

midterm break

hey,

so today i finish my work early and get to choose between blogging and finishing up this really really really awesome novel.

n one look at my angsty red nails which i love so much now :D:D i know i'd had to scribble at least a few words about my midterm break :D it was the such a marvelous weekend, best one i've ever had, perhaps in decades?!! seriously !

the destination for this sojourn was Stradford. better known as Stradford-upon-Avon in which river Avon flows through the quaint little town. i wanted to go there eversince i saw a poster in a hostel which mentioned it being second or third most beautiful place in europe, and place number 9 goes to Lucern of switzerland, which, i have been to and love so much. it was at this one time when i felt so utterly bogged down by so much uncalled for anxiety which was eating me inside out that i just had to go away, somewhere close to nature, somewhere back to what i love. naturally, she was the only person i could think of that would throw all caution to the wind, skip classes, sling on a backpack and go away with me! :D love!

this is all about being young and free. i am totally leveraging on my perrogative :D :P

ok i ll let the pictures do some talking but i will talk even more! the pictures are not in sequence because who the hell has the energy to post pictures, write, then arrange?! not me



#1- quite pretty


#2 this is the best thing since sliced bread!! lol. a little button which you click and there will be an exothermic reaction in that little pack which will keep your hands warm! i ve got a solution to running and staying out for long and write in the cold! the problem has always been my hands, come to medschool they teach you something about raynauds disease.

3- we took a canal boat tour!! it was a nice ride through river Avon and that is basically the only sightseeing we did in 2 days :D:D loads of willow barks, and a mistletoe was sighted! the boat guy pointed it out to us. lazy to find the picture. mmm 45 minutes inside a cradle it felt so swiftttt


4 the sun is out on sunday in stradford baby!! make me happy like a silly cow felt like singing top of the world. lol. seriously, the darkness over here has make my serotonin level plummet to a dangerous level..
there you go, a touristy picture trying to cover up our asses just in case the need to arise. like if my dad start asking : i thought you say you go see shakespeare wan? nah! a bald romantic.

alang alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan. so take a few more cover track pictures. just in case
the sun was so beautiful it makes the whole world happy, the ducks. the ducklings. the swan, and me.


NOW, THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE DONE. hahahah. don't judge ok
we go into annoyingly pink shops which look like barbie world and eat the most happy things. for me it's always chocolate muffins or chocolate brownies. and coffee. must have coffee

i like watching the English. they still seem so surreal to me.

we took too many 'tea-time' s! when in England, do like the English, right. starbucks, brownies with blackcoffee, home made scones with clotted cream and butter ( doesnt the name make u happy?), a few muffins, hot pudding with custard just cos it's christmassy and i think there's more. still trying to lose weight here nevermind it's totally worth it

spent nearly an hour in a shop reading Helen Exeley giftbooks, they are my favourites, my pasttimes while waiting for my flight back from london airports :) look at this one, aw! all my favouritest thingssss

this tavern is the place we had our *** i dont know, we both don't have the time in those 2 days. i love town taverns

this pseudo shakespeare can sure read the proses well! i werent swept away though when he started spewing out words i couldnt really catch. just lots of love and sun and summer. and thee and thou.

eating my pie! SO GOOD! it has a pasty crust instead of a flaky crust and i was impressed. real chicken breast and so much real vege ( not frozen! ) i felt so contented after.


o hail the gingerbreadman. yinnin you have to read the story to find out. im not spoiling it for you hehe.

i like this thing! it's a coffee warmer. how sweet? but she says it's usb and can only be connected to a laptop so it wouldnt really warm my coffee. but still so clever

still have so many things that i have left out, those little thing uncaptured by the lenses which are really what made me happy beyond description. somehow being closer to nature have really have an effect on me, it's like taking a step back, stop and reevaluate what's really important to me and what the hell am i doing all this while. it was comforting to know that retrospection up till now still do not warrant an arrhythmic episode.

if you are to play a game which you surely know you would lose, will you still play it? or would you just quit beforehand?
i always know i would lose and be boo-ed in every single game i play with my brothers, but everytime i play with them, i still play it to my best. i wonder has it brought me to do what i am doing now. knowing the outcome and yet.. yea. just some analogy for something which has been on my mind. not telling.

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gosh im so tired now it's so late. of note,

today Professor Hill milked my coffee for me! i wanted to have a black one but i couldnt say no to gallantry. It is non-existent in my age group.

my little brother got 99 for maths and he has a badminton competition tomorrow. break a leg!

4 people in my family are running the penang bridge this 22nd. i am SO proud of them! i hope they have great fun, oh i miss them so so much.

my mama is on her way, she is my buddy and it would be great to have her here to go through half of the brutal winter with me. hehe am i smart or what :P
i dont mind working harder and sacrificing all my playtime now cos i know it'd be so worth it after this 2 weeks! serious cant wait to show her around and enjoy gingerbread latte with her :D:D:D:D:D:D

hope this season is happy for you as well !

had the best weekend in 7weeks. got so much fun mampat-ed into a span of 2 days i might've imploded from within. done so many !!!important!!! things things like eating seafood enjoying christmas displays drinking christmassy flavoured coffee with names like dark cherry mocha or gingerbread latte which will last only a month! amonth! how to not panic and eating hot treacle pudding with custard then got smitten over sonnets and ponder important issues like how can shakespeare be SO romantic when he already got married at 18! i also stayed away from medicine like a plaque and stared hard at yilin when she mention cannabinoid receptor. yet she proceed to tell me about the hoohah surrounding the classification of cannabis now!!! interesting tho apparently it's milder than nicotine and alcohol

back to christmas the gingerbreadman is my favourite childhood story. do you know how he die in the end? hahaha that is my favourite part when i was a tinytot

christmas is my favourite season after chinese new year because both are very red and both have lots of food but then

night. time' up.this post will be edited after my project being edited !
cant wait for it to be over colossal pain in the ass!

so good to be out there again. i zoned out, set my pacing music on rep, and just run. felt so fucking good. 75minutes of tranquility and happiness, just what i need.

dont go to that area, it's shrouded in dense negative emotions. i left them all there
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i went to the shop, and bought all that coffee on the rack. the cashier looked at me funny. i went home, counted, 84 sticks. i pulled out 70, arranged them like dominos behind the glass.

disappearing coffee sticks used to mean i have do grocery shopping which i absolutely abhor and detest to a great degree

now.

it means! i am inching closer to what really really matters
in the greater scheme of things

now. hold on tight, stay focus and ride well !!!
on the wayyyy

joy is nigh

i finally found that new book on stoicism in pdf!!! im such a leech

A guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy :):)

i think tomorrow's class has to be cancelled, arbitrarily.
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dad bought me Seneca's book as a souvenir from the colloseum's gift shop, yes from that rubble in rome, because i couldnt find anything else i like so a book it is! and his innocent act has cultivated a major stoicism love in me. now i couldnt survive without my daily philosopy crack lol

ps i lie. i don't like forensics. the slides are hypnotizingly blue and the lecturers carry a waft of sadness. i have to keep entertaining myself to stay awake. life tough so i guess i need to offload? lol excuses

cares who. off to the school of Athens !!!


hahahaa !!! ;) :P

resolutions

i will never allow my emotions to be affected by my project
i will be graceful to all ungrateful and ignorant remarks today.

this too shall pass! ohm~

mid 7th week

i was contemplating whether to read, or write. i currently am on this book called shadow of the wind, which makes me realised how magical reading for pleasure is. the past hour have been a flurry of ABVD and CHOP and CREST and why we bleed and how we get cancer, tantalising secrets that could kill a cat. and me. which makes me want to huddle under the covers after class, sulk all evening, waddle in self pity, and go away to another realm where book cemetery exist ! :(
i can't continue living in this dreadful museum filled mouldy artefacts and dusty souls who engage in repetitive narcoleptical conversations !! just. killed. me. kill me~~!

lol. it's naturally what happens to me on a wednesday when i am escalating this massive incline of this hump-day! haha ;) it's not that bad. but i know how my reservoir of gogogo chemical is running low. i kept tapping it again and again this week and it only drips pathetically! so glad SOS shall be here soon. i do hope i come back bright eyed again. i need all the stamina i can come up with for the last half of November before embracing that december's whirlwind of crazy circumstances. maybe a concoction of crack, guarana and cozenzyme Q10 100mg. that would definitely work. ;)

last weekend i went to the big bookstore, my favourite place in the whole wide world because i felt so safe and calm in a bookstore. i have no idea why. it's a good place to destress. i flitted here and there like a butterfly, occasionally pausing on a book that catches my attention, read the prologue, read the epilogue and then move on. so much fun! i caught a glimpse of Istanbul through OrhanPamuk's words, it is such a beautiful book, but too expensive. i read a little on osteitis fibrosa cystica however you call it in jodi picoult's, about genetic testing, about some doppelganger like thingy in the time traveller's wife's authour's new book!! lol. and about the life of a president's wife in that bestseller.so good! i so wanted to sit down because of my heavy groceries, but sitting down on the floor is the prerogative of a child before the age of ten. after thatage you would be discriminated and shunned. but i was still there for.. 4 hours? hee.

i kept dreaming a dream which doesnt need freudian theory to interpret. i know some wishes are not okay to make, no matter how much i yearn for it, because of the consequences and retributions. i am super girlish in these things, i just couldnt shirk it like a man. the downside of being a girl. however at this moment i could understand things better because i am slightly wiser that the yesteryears, it still hurts the same, but i guess pairing a little maturity with reality, i am more at peace than i ever was? i do really hope so.

i miss home. i need dad or mom to switch off the lights when i dozed off reading my storybooks. either that or give me a light remote.

goodnight sleeptight. oh i recently learnt the meaning of the word tight in sleeptight. but it's another day's post. miss my room.

The Refuge Chant

Incense perfumes the atmosphere.
A lotus blooms and the Buddha appears.
The world of suffering and discrimination
is filled with the light of the rising sun.
As the dust of fear and anxiety settles,
with open heart, one-pointed mind,
I turn to the Three Jewels.

The Fully Enlightened One,
beautifully seated, peaceful and smiling,
a living source of understanding and compassion,
to the Buddha I go for refuge.

The path of mindful living,
leading to healing, joy, and enlightenment, the way of peace,
to the Dharma I go for refuge.

The loving and supportive community of practice,
realizing harmony, awareness, and liberation,
to the Sangha I go for refuge.

I am aware that the Three Gems are within my heart.
I vow to realize them,
practicing mindful breathing and smiling,
looking deeply into things.
I vow to understand living beings and their suffering,
to cultivate compassion and loving kindness,
to practice joy and equanimity.

I vow to offer joy to one person in the morning,
to help relieve the grief of one person in the afternoon,
living simply and sanely with few possessions,
keeping my body healthy.
I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety
in order to be light and free.

I am aware that I owe so much
to my parents, teachers, friends, and all beings.
I vow to be worthy of their trust, to practice wholeheartedly
so that understanding and compassion will flower,
helping living beings be free from their suffering.
May the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha

support my efforts.

<3

can you feeeeeel the love yet? one day i ll have a home like this!!

dreaming :P

that year i was 14+. it was my 2nd week in mrsm. A girlfriend got a deep cut across her little finger from a blade and the blood squirted on me. i don't know what to do because i felt faint and nearly keel over at the sight of blood. i went to get another friend, we went to the lady's and that another friend squeezed that little finger to stop the blood. the little finger ended up with a few stitches from the beseri clinic. on that day, i decided not to flirt with medicine. it'd be the end of me i swear

today my housemate got a cut on her little finger, exactly the same spot. it's from the edge of a can. it was very deep, she was trembling while bleeding profusely. she frantically called for me from downstairs for plasters. i saw the blood and applied firm pressure just like how i was taught to. it eases after awhile under running water. i bandaged it up tightly. and gave her many many plasters cos i am a plaster lover :) and i realise my heart didnt even skip a beat from seeing blood! :):) what happen in these 7 years ?! ;)

i'd like to know from any st john's and redcross outthere, yes youuu.. what is the right thing to do in these situations? :D