cheers to 2009 !

and all the happiness was bundled up tightly in the bright red 28kilos suitcase, just in time for him to usher in the new year in malaysia! it was a huge chunk of happiness and excitement, and i got so much more than i had expected from my travels:). you see, there's this absolutely wonderful cup of cappucino in venice mestre train station, it really was the best ever i have ever tried in this life. a gem in the filthy venice, i went back for seconds the next day, and yes i have not been biased from the biting cold :) italian really know their way around coffee :)

and there's also this little brother who has been so wide-eyed about irrelevant things he spotted along the journey, the most apprarent being the sheep scattered all over the hills of irelands. he squealed in delight, he suppressed his scream and he got so excited that he kept shaking my chair from behind in the bus whenever he spot yet another cluster of sheep, his kind. he ran in the cold to get near the fence for a photo with those round bushy fellas, while i kept begging him to stop being idiotic because there's too much unwanted attention in the coach. #1 one of the colossal amount of sheepish photos he took from the coach! like usual he elbowed me and i looked up from my book and squealed 'ah! kaya pao!'

doesn't they look like kaya paos!! red spots =kaya !!!

and then there's also the time when we were in rome and he started dancing in front of the colloseum because of his unbridled excitement. he could go right into a manic state especially if there's a certain monument resembling something from his textbook! or anything sheep like. #2 like all he ever do, being gleeful over surreal monuments- a cannon on the city wall of londonderry


yesterday we went up to northern ireland, a place i have always wanted to pay a visit to eversince dad told me about his encounters with the patrolling officers when he was travelling during his time, his time being the 1970s i guess. and i did managed to see the murals and the city walls with canons. so i was a happy girl that day :) there was an interesting tour being held when we were there in derry so although being handed an ultimatum of lunch or tour, we picked the latter! parents be proud of us hehe:) . the tourwas being handled by this irishman, born and bred in derry, so naturally the accent was some thing we had to try to sort out. haha, brother was having a rough time doing so but i did the translation so it was good :) we learnt about the bloody sunday, about how the catholics and protestants fought, about the city and its origin, about history basically! finally finally finally. finally i understand. funny how it made me really happy to finally being able to understand the sentiments of the irish people. and to actually see the streets' curb and traffic light being painted in union jack's colour, and also red police uniform, those little things entertained me alot :)#3 in derry!

and on the way back to belfast, we watched this beautifully scripted film, titled the wind that shake the barley. i have heard about it and the accolades that accompanied, and so immediately shut my book with a loud Plop. it was the few films that kept me awake throughout its screening. i was holding my breath, and was amazed at how such beautiful movie can actually be casted. cillian murphy was great :)
#4 ltake a good look at him! the coach driver said he looks like a leprechaun, u think so not? :D

so it was a good 3 days, albeit tiring, from the cold and erratic meal times.

now it's time to get back to work, i pray for a smooth sailing, god please allow my brain to be a very encompassing being for these few weeks.

hey brother, sorry for all the bossiness and hope you have a good month up till cny! i don't mean all the insults ;) you are still 180 ok! hahahaha.

West ireland trip

28/12/08

#1 The Cliffs of Moher!
coast to coast, there is the atlantic ocean :)


Lunch! in Fitzgerald Pub in Doolin.
the best seafood chowder in the world !!! :)

#2 the Burren, county Clare
pavements formed from limestone and rock from granite, brought from afar by the glaciers!


#3 monkey goddess born


#4 pancaked by the Super Palm of Ru Lai because of he has been not behaving himself

home tomorrow :D

fatigue.

but very satisfied.

been very happy

with the simplicity and single mindedness of life.- no facebook :D

been travelling like how i have always wanted to. going around places. look and got distracted by innumerable things.

followed walking tours and learn all about westminster abbey and secret joints in london. peeped through 10 downing street. ran up and down hyde park and missed running so much.

made a few friends. admired how they travel. wished i knew the secrets to developing enthusiasm for museums like how ming did. he stayed one more day for british musuem! like ?!?!!!!!!!!!!!

hate oxford street. dislike that stretch of bayswater and oxford which stretch on forever.... hate jubilee line which cLoSed TodAy :(

swished and swashed my temper around, been panicky, been self righteous, been really really bossy, been at the coffee joint and waffle house pouring over beautiful sentences and making my brother do so grumpily with me hehe.

saw london from my inner child's eye this time and was very excited. love those english names running over my tongue and wish i could call them out forever.

went to HMV on oxford and saw so many things from ten years before. home alone 123! marry poppins! pinkpanther!! mathilda!! billygoatgruff!!! and also jetaime paris<3 oh i really hate what hmv did to me today-headtwisting in all directions, hesitation, dilemma, sweating, ugh!

bought tons of dvds in the end. MKA!!

i didnt pass my boxing day test. didnt manage to get asics runners. gotta stick to the one that gives me blisters. nike sucks :)

been very impulsive about buying books.

panic twice about exams when i forget how to call clavicle but relax right after fish and chips were served :/

been very unhealthy. reach my winter weight. yet again. :( aye nevermind lah.

yet yet yet. very happy :) homesick broke tired emptybrainded but happy.

christmas and pudding and everything nice

warning : morbidly random.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,

i have been very bad this christmas. i spent my earnings on unearthly indulgences. i stuff myself with heavenly food and too much coffee, i overdosed on dietcoke, i am living on a travel high that it makes me guilty so i took it out on my brother, i purposely pushed away my good conscience of studying for my finals and immersed myself in one novel after another. i am having so much fun and i really really don't want this to end. santa can i have my 08 december going on and on forever?

but i know i couldn't because i have not been good.

just don't punish me so hard after i turn 21, ok?

thankyou and merrychristmas,

from,
a very happy girl on christmas eve

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dear diary,

i spent one pound fifty to go online and i came here straight away because i have so much thing to tell you.

deardiary, today i have been to cambridgeshire finally!! and i really love it. i love the medieval varsities and colleges, i love the quaint english town and river cam. i love the accent and i love how simple cambridge is. i finally did not lost myself in a town. everything is close for christmas today except trinity college and do you know how pretty it is!! it reminds me of the quidditch ground in harrypotter. yes i was squealing in excitement yet again. dear diary i am tired already, i zigzag-ed through cambridge on my worn out nike give myself a subtle runner's high, followed by an excitement through the theaters in cambridge because i was watching beautyandthebeast!! do you know how much i loved fairytales-ask my father, i went for a half hour of christmas shopping in which i couldnt contain my delight and bought sweatpants and sweatshirts (again). after that i raced to the busstop and i felt my jantung went thump-thump-thump throughout the 2 hours ride back to london.

finally after going back to the hostel and have my parasympathetic system back to work again i felt my appetite coming back, and i just have this yumyumyummmmmmmy overgrilled chicken went right into my intestines. which bread and fishburger also!! i feel so messed up but i am so satisfied :)

and to my horror i ask myself whether i would work another 2 months for this short juncture again giver another chance, and also to my surprise i answered a unhesitant yes.
jesus.

today too i received an email from my highschool bestfriend. i might be crazy but i think i might meet her up in the midst of my finalexams. i wish i could.

phantom of the opera is so amazing and because time is so tight i could not come up with another more amazing word than amazing to describe how amazing it is. i will find it the next time. it is just so amazing, and i realised no one has really put it how amazing it really is to me. do watch it. i want to do it again. :)

les miserables moved me so much i nearly teared. aptly reflected the voice of the bourgeoise and also the downtrodden.

dear diary,

i had this absolutely yyyyyyyuuuuuuuuummmmmyyy fish head noodle at rasasayang in leicester square yesterday before the theaters. i also had milo dinosaur. the hotsoup and malaysianness of the whole place rejuvenated me. it made me miss everything back home, the manglish, the boisterous people, the warmth and simplicity, it's just so... warming.but the milo is so still so different!

tomorrow is christmas and i do not have anything in mind. perhaps i will roam the street. like a homeless christmas ghoul. and sing carols to myself. and accompany forlorn christmas trees overlooking deserted skating rinks and the thames :/

dear diary,

my italy reading was Eat, Live and Pray by elizabeth gilbert. it is so beautifully written. i wish everyone could read them, especially all my ladies friends. i am going to send it back home to mom so that she can read too, and i hope you do too :) i am reading another amazing book. i have so little time with so much beautiful readings, and i wish i do not have an exam right after the new year. ugh. gonna be so overstressed. today i bought a one pound book too, something i have been looking for so long, just in time for christmas :)

deardiary my time is up already and i do not want to waste anymore money on this because i need it for my coffee tomorrow. byebye and merry christmas :) i pray for peace, honestly.

from,
me in a dilapidated hostel in london

london !!!

today it's my last outbound flight to london in 2 hours time. london is my favourite place in europe so far, albeit me not knowing london well <3 finally somewhere where english is spoken!!

i was abit frantic about forgetting all my material in the forthcoming exam, a part of me telling myself not the be bothered and another part of my conscience kept threatening me with the worst ever scenario. i am torn between amazing novels and boring textbooks :////

weird thing is, despite all the beautiful beautiful discoveries, i am still terribly homesick during this cold and wet winter. maybe it's the cold hm.

merry christmas, selamat hari natal and sheng dan kuai le people:) warmest regards from everywhere:)

things i have been up to

ciao bella! :/

1- rome was exhilarating for me and awesomeness for my brother. he kept squealing over the Pantheon and the Colloseum- i had such a hard time calming him down so that other tourists won't be frightened. like seriously scared. there was this group of girls who kept pointing at him because he was so awed over the colloseum and was wow-ing like he never see ruins in life before. crazy.

2-we lost ourselves in rome the first night after a mission to find the best gelato in rome. i dont know why we were excited over the best gelato after 8 flavours for that day hence we crawled into the labyrinthe and glided over all roman's path and finally:/ rain came in torrents and the sun disappeared and we were lost. just like that. but with a few wet maps and disastrously skewed sense of directions, we made it back to the yellow bar just in time for happy hour. haha. got cheap beer :) cheap beer after an expensive diet coke in front of the trevi fountain. take that!

3- rome is so sickeningly saddeningly, depressingly, ruined. from top to bottom from in to out, from back to front. Ruined. it's still majestic but in a depressing way. circus maximus is so barrened. the trito river so dirty it could rival sungai petani. rome is beautiful in a weird way i couldnt describe. but with a nutella gelato smearing my face, rome is the most beautiful place in the world.

4-our uninitiated italian caused us to wander in the vatican city twice with a boring audioguide in hand. we swear to never listen to audioguides anymore. books are so much better. my brother couldnt get a student ticket into the vatican museuem because cool malaysian schools dont print their student id s in english. i was irritated.

5-about my last visit to disneyland, i think i grew out of the mouse. i still love the jungle boy and pinocchio but mickey went to the grave in my heart already. i took so many rides i think i just experimented some psychological theory on myself. because they get better. :)

6-paris is annoying because it's freezing. italy is nice because it isn't.

time for italian breakfast. ciao!

of eurostudent home

we had really nice italian home wine, something called Monte Pulciano last night over BS, an american drinking game. it was terribly fun, especially when you played against 6 others who laughed extremely hard when you are being butted.this lovely scottish girl sweared and played so aggressively in the end my brother was the loser. haha. he got two stacks of cards and the whole table was asking him to play himself. four fours, four fives, four sixes :S ironically no one could speak italian, while we were watching a lame italian channel dubbed from a famous American soap opera-while the pasta was bubbling. i never liked pasta, because of the plasticness of how the texture feels like. but it was good company last night, and i break all the rules by having such a huge serving over extra formaggio and more wine. life is good.

yesterday we were in pisa, and pisa makes me felt melancholy. the first pisa tower was a miniature at home, in our library, a souvenir dad bought some 30 years ago from his travels. i was asking mom over the phone how dad could buy such cutthroat souvenirs because me and my brother could not, and i thought if genes passed on, dad should also have a hardtime with the prices right? so mom said yeah, he slept all over the train stations and roadsides so he could afford, and i finally understood the source for all those little miniatures. haha. the second pisa tower i come to know was from a chinese book, written by liu yong, some guru writer was i was young and i religiously read him. i remember looking at a black and white pisa tower from his book, which is a copy because books were expensive even back then, and never thought i could one day see this freaky tubal thing which still stays erected today courtesy of a whole commitee of Preventing-Pisa-Crash committee. and even freaky was this freakos who pay so much to go up the bell tower to see how this slanted pole could perhaps give them wonderful vertiginous view? ok this is droning already but the third pisa tower was in china in some little wonderland where all wonders in the world was rebuilt by a thwarted ego group of people just so they could have all the wonders in less than ten acres land.

but yesterday's Pisa tower was so chalkily white and real and slanted and everything it should be. :) the baptistry the camposata and the cathedral was also so italy. i am really bad at blogging about travels.

my saturday

influx of posts but i really have to give this a post for my logging purpose..

first up, I finally completed my 10 km run!! it was tough because i was still sore from a shin splint from yesterday's. but no matter, i put up determination for good use instead. i know i really am gonna be annoyed and disappointed if i cound't do it again this time, and i am afraid of myself when i am being pesty, so i really had to make the cut. i ran for 11-12 all the time because i was short on time,

after showering for 2 minutes and blowdry for one! and look no difference than a tomato...

i went to suturing classes organised by SurSoc :D i think they organise superb events! the last breast cancer and surgery talk was totally awesome. won't help for exams but act as boosters for me, sometimes even keep me orientated in what i am doing. i cannot explain that.

SO! i gave my knots tying alot of practise and i finally got the hang of it! it's funny, i was so frustrated with my slow poke knotting so i kept tying and tying like an OCD patient without giving a hoot to what the lady is teaching up front. i ended up using 4 packs of sutures just for my knots. *guilty. it's so cool. ok come let me show u photo since i actually took one. :D



aiks. i should've taken one with purple sutures all over it.

ah well, i'd probably do this for the rest of my life but anyway.

ok on a serious note,

the types of sutures i learnt was simple interrupted, vertical and horizontal mattress, subcortical suturing and Aberdeen knot. subcortical is the trickest. i bet there's a long list more but i am pretty satisfied with what i learn thus far. at least can sew people now. :D :D

i actually went to the flea market after that and became bored after a few minutes. so i left after getting myself a textbook. and a brownie. the book was a steal so :) still couldnt find tallyoconner. :( and then i wasted 3 hours buying thermal socks and gloves. and cinderella sold out :(

五月天 很棒

為何依然不停的追
------------------------------
我如果对自己不行如果对自己说谎
即使你不原谅我也不能原谅
---------------------------------------

最美的愿望一定最疯狂
-------------------------------

下一站是不是天堂
就算失望不能绝望
-------------------------------

对爱我的人别紧张我
手越肮脏眼神越是发光
被火烧过才能出现凤凰
逆风的方向更适合飞翔
我不怕千万人阻挡只怕自己投降

of community and men !

winter holidays!

glee glee glleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ynh's text jangled me up from my sleep-in and i was shakened up like a salt shaker again, nicely shakened up for christmas holidayyyysss :D i am so looking forward to this, a million thanks to mama and papa for the best christmas and birthday gift ever--a brother! haha.

people in malaysia, you all have fun with popo's home-going and your holidays :) people in indonesia, i don't like you because you don't reply my emails. and do miss us!

-----------------------------

this morning when i was figuring out what's for breakfast, my thoughts went over the things we were discussing about yesterday- community living. i personally despised a system that makes people do things in a similar fashion, no matter what, repetitively. it's like being in jail, or in a hospital, or a daycare centre, or a boarding school omg! everything is being laid out for you, and you are stripped of the rights to decide for yourself! and if you miss the time or sleep a little late and there goes your breakfast lunch dinner. and on the days you don't feel like cereal, you have gotta get that down too because menu is cereal for today!

my housemates don't feel too bad about it but i did felt it was a dreadful idea. so i guess i might have developed this phobia from the experience in boarding school. the silver platter and the queues and how people waited with trepidation for meal times just in case they missed lunch and go hungry for the afternoon and worse if the cafe is close today! then it spells STARVATION which is not nice when you have 6 more hours of gruelling prep to go unless your gardenia from last week's outing is still not rotten and you are lucky to have some maggi leftovers at the back of your locker. i know it's not that bad in retrospect, but you should have seen how everyone was bordering on fear and watching out for lunch and dinner times so carefully you think they are having a date with the canteen boy.

i often miss out meals because of stupid reasons. like how i needed the 20 minutes nap before prep, so i chose sleep over food. or at times i know if i eat i wouldn't have the time to bathe when i was running late, and for fear the water supply runs out tonight, i chose not to eat also. and the times when you consult a teacher for difficulties in your studies after school, yeah sad fact, who ask you so terlebih rajin. i know i have pretty f*cked up priorities, haih, but dinner was usually ok. and with that i got myself a messed up body system. with conditioning i guess im in fear of any way of life that demands conformity or slightly rigid. no way i couldn't do it.

another thing i found out, in the process of pursuing equality for women, i think we kinda robbed them men off of their manliness. haha.:P or put it in another way, do not expect what men nowadays could do for you, because unlike the men from the last generation, they are different. in another clearer way, just treat them like another equal female and you should get my point! or oh well, maybe they could do it, but don't expect them to not harbour any grunts along with it. :D

cheers! HAPPY XMAS AND NEW YEAR AND I AM OFF TILL 2009.
HAVE FUN EVERYONE!

RCSI case presentation competition

last year when i was at the case presentation competition, i remember knowing SO little. the morsel of knowledge can make anyone cry buckets. i don't even know what's all the short hands stand for. but i certainly was awed and impressed throughly and thoroughly

this year i went again too, just to see how different it will feel from last year. and this year it's much better. i could keep my attention on the presentations for one hour plus without resorting to fiddling and being restless. i could recall and relate. it's the first time i heard of syringomyelia and congenital intracranial bvessel malformation, but for scoliosis, it's very nice because i remember having a friend diagnosed with it, though mild.the cases were very very well presented.

like last year, i am still in awed by the enigmatic presentations, and doubly impressed by the confidence exuded by the presenters when handling the myriads of questions from the consultants. quick and precise, cool and confidence, i could literally feel my adrenaline rushing, like a runner's high. :D and unlike last year, i could take on a little cheese this time. oh well maybe i was starving.

sadly, i realised how little info i retained from last year, which really disappoint me. i was straining my brain to figure out where's my ulnar wth! maybe i should take a preclinical exam, at least i could have a reason to study and not waste my one year medical education.

today's friday night, so i shall read a little of my favourite books, drink a hot chocolate and go to bed ridiculously early. get enough strength for a tenner tmr!

dear diary 1

Dear Diary,

i forgot how nice tuna spread taste like until today's sub of the day <3 yum! it tasted like primary school recess!

i also forgot how delish oats porridge taste until i had some oaty these 2 days. yum.

ok all bout food only.

i was bored in the morning so i went for a sprint AGAIN, one hour before class. i know i shouldn't be exercising so frequently should i get addicted again, because initially i planned to do 10 km tomorrow morning:D

today there's 3 Ebh classes and for the first time in this term, i actually am really looking forward to attend them!

today is gonna be awesome because i only have one pharm grind to finish before i have all the time in the world to myself. to read :D it's annoying how all my novels are halfway through and i don't even have a new read anymore! all tainted by myself.

today i walked pass gaiety theater and saw the posters on cinderella and they look just so splendid! if i have some money left after my travels, i will watch it with my bro. everyone loves cinderella! rriiigghht!

ONLY a few more hours before school ends whoooohooooooooooooooooooo *plays HSM graduation music in the background haha**

HAPPY 21ST 李奕琳

today is her 21st. i shall call her yi lin throughout this post, enough of alex, penguin, tai bi lin ( HAHAHAHA), and i don't know what else people call her in real life. :D

she is the source of my giddiness and contributes to em enormously. i am already quite impulsive myself, and she, i think, is on the same par with me, if not a notch higher. together our heads do not make better decisions, well sometimes those supposedly unanimous decisions are pure hentam keromo bordering unimaginable nonsense, but it certainly is so much more FUN! it's so much ohm with this person sometimes my heart stops to rest. nearly k.o.

like the day she 'ajak-ed' me to go to america. girl u don't bluff me ok, if not i emo.


this is a photo of her with the one litre german beer that we just had a few months ago in oktoberfest of munich. we were talking about how nice it was if we could have a huge gathering with all the old friends right there and then, because the atmosphere was so jolly and the beer SO GOOD. don't mention the pork knuckles ( argh i am deprived! ) She insisted on taking this photo in her total craziness to show heng zhee enn, that she downed the whole mug in a sitting. so now that she's 21 today, i could safely show this to the world :) zhee enn she's a little pai la, but still ok. kwang kwang.

and here as per usual in 200% siaokianess, we bought an array of lunch to have because we were too greedy. she's as cheapskate as me ( sorry ah, truth cannot be covered even on bday) hence our lunch is very cheap only! we eat so many times in a day during our backpacking trip to germany because we are lazy and we like eating and also because we think eating is fun compare to walking, we took so many trains, we had so many porkknuckles and so much beer i developed a beerbelly, we cover all the sights and learnt so much but i donno how much we could retain by now, we followed so much walking tour, we walked too much, our bags were SO heavy we got ourselves some beautiful back muscles.... i really miss germany and her. :(




this is when she squealed in delight upon seeing her name on a board ( how common alex is =S) and demanded me to take a photo. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. when the whole group is so far in front and we lag behind taking alex rent a bike pic because my hands were shaking.

on a serious note

i knew yi lin since standard 6. ah well, she was somewhere in class during standard 4 or sometime around that, but it wasnt till std 6 that we really know each other. now to talk about it, i actually dont really know how we know each other. but you see, the place where i grew up in is a small town, her grandmother sells the longest standing ANGTAUKA campur MILO which happens to be me and my mom favourite indulgence! it's a superbly awesome drink and i will bring all my friends there! :D my grandpa used to know her grandpa well? ( im not too sure) Her aunt happens to work in the place where i go for my piano lessons, and her cousin sister is in the same class with me, us? and what else? her mom is teaching in the alternate session in my primary school? i don't know. i never really be bothered about how i know my friends back in my old town because it's like somehow everyone knows everyone in some way. :) the beauty.

i always find the greatest joy in able to relate to her the most insignificant things that meant so much to us which probably make no sense to others. in that i find consolation, and also a very beautiful friendship which i will forever treasure. i will surely miss her when i go back to penang, for a whole 2/3 years without this crazy travel partner.

anything you want girl for your big day! you can have a whole cake if you want to :) a 5 scoops icecream also can! you want 2 litres beer also no problem. want go anywhere in the world also no problem!

i hope you find meaning in your life, your own personal meaning, continue to be wild and crazy as you do now :P because you are my source of excitement ! let's continue to get annoyingly excited by our sillyness. :D

happy birthday, i write too much. the point is still happy 21st 李奕琳。have a good drink tonight, must drink and be drunk. and eat and be merry and be jolly and tomorrow skip class. and after that go play.

:D enjoy yourself GIRL!

4 more days :)

i havent been running for a whole week, and this morning, i suddenly have the urge to do some extensive mileage. :) i put a 10km target for myself and kinda hynotized myself into it. eventually i managed 7.8km, speed 11-12. minus the pausing for water and songs, it should be a good 7. hm, not too happy with it, i couldve done 10 with just a bit more determination, a bit more holding on, but not much of a point since i am pausing so many times towards the end. i compensate by doing 15 minutes on the elliptical. at least i didnt disappoint myself, something which is real dreadful if i did. haha.

oh well, the next long run would probably be after exams :)

tomorrow is my last cardsigning ever. and i realise the next thursday would be my LAST anatomy session. feel so bu she de!
it had been really fun, hospital should be even better. but i will miss anatomy class no matter what.

ynh is coming soon, with all the love packaged in my favourite shitake mushrooms. i so can't wait. :) i have been really homesick of late, like really really. it's the first time since i am back here, maybe because i have more time to think about things ( as i dont when i was busy juggling), and when i realise how taken cared of i was when i was at home, from am to pm, from head to toe, i don't need to worry about visataxcreditcardbankrentalmoneymanagementfooddinnerlunchbreakfast for a start!

i hope granny gets well and become stronger soon. and god bless all the doctors in the world, let them know what they are actually doing. :)

it is already freezing, which reminds me to get out my winter clothing for the month to come. 3 months. wish me luck and don't let the winter weight get hold of me. shoo shoo go away.

and hugs melissa.

rants.

i am in medical school. my colleagues have a myriad of sleeping patterns. some of them have already lost their sleep wake cycle during the Grand Battle of Time Management. some sleep for 4 hours in a 48 hours span. some are nocturnal, they remain awake throughout the night like the jetlag they never have gotten over when they alighted that 18 hours flight. a portion of them practically have 'insomniac' stamped all over their forehead. some cry for help through instant messaging asking for a few floats to keep them buoying amidst the horrendous waves of long case exams. :)

these made me so guilty when i indulge in my novels. or when i have a slow dillydallying day. or when i sneak into a website full of beautiful travel pictures. it even haunt you when you have a bubble bath. that you should just do with a shower.

But last night, i gingerly threw my caution into the cold night and got a proper hour of bedtime reading. of irrelevant material. to see how it feels like beating the system and pressure.

and to my dismay!!

the omnipresent guilt bugged the hell outta me! :(

cardsigning lah go study now. now. now. ISH. benci.