today i took an early afternoon off, for myself. this week wasn't too easy and i sighed with relief when it's finally done. it was a one step at a time kinda week, in many aspects. i napped, finished my work, packed my bags, cleaned the house and declared the start of marathon weekend. i am all sorts.
i know i will freak out many times this weekend, with so much uncertainties looming. the travelling, trying to fuel well and sleep well, trying to get everything right before race day, trying to hang in there when i feel like i can hardly breathe and work hard to make it through the pain. but that is what i am there for, to be frightened, empowered, clarified and overwhelmed with the beauty of a marathon, all at once.
this Sunday i will to revisit the proverbial wall at 30 km, the point when i am running on empty and i will be strong, very very strong. i want to feel and get in touch with that emptiness inside me, to carry all my emotions with me over the last 12km- the sadness, disappointment, the feeling of confused and unsure of myself, and to know that my body can push past its breaking point, just like my heart, to understand again, in the end, God's grace is all that sustains, and that is enough.
each marathon will be life changing, and i can't wait to learn the lessons from this special one. i pray for good weather and the safety of each one running. crazy friends :)
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