one moment in time

Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I'm only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown

I broke my heart
Fought every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity


this was on the radio today, the first song after my 25km, i sat in the car and felt like crying. i was in pain but i was feeling pretty damn proud of myself. 25km- longest distance i have ever done for the year. and this particular one was HARD. dammit!!! so painful today. i always get really emotional after a really hard HARD run, hard HARD run being the kind at 5km mark, i clearly know this is going to be Hell already but no excuses no compromise i just grit my teeth and say fuck this and do not react to whatever pain and just run. and cry a little in the heart. haha


came home feeling like my body's broken everywhere, and tired like mad. feverish. can't move. the price to pay to commit myself to a marathon. i know it's going to be hard but i forgot how hard a marathon is. hell it's very very very hard.. ! the hardest thing for the year in fact. but yeah the price to pay..to get that one moment in time when i know i did something very very big and very very important, not for anyone else, but for myself. i know i have so much more in me to hang on to, when i am running on empty, when i have got nothing left to hang on to outside. i know i can take a ridiculous amount of pain, and when there's emotional pain, it makes me a stronger runner now. earlier days i couldn't cope with having any emotional pain and running long, i would just breakdown once i allow any thoughts to barge in. but now i learnt how, it's a long process, now i learnt to carry them with me and be gentle with myself at the same time, and i finished my long runs one step at a time, treading really carefully. applies to life, and alot of things as well. and just a few weeks ago, i learnt to walk, feel so therapeutic :)


running means a lot to me. shaped me and made me into what i am today. :) so many years and i still want to do it so much. i don't know if i am doing 26.1mile two weekends from now, but today is the peak of my training and i have trained as well as i want myself to. tomorrow i am counting my heart rate and hopefully i am surprise. :)


good sunday and good week ahead:)